Home "bittersweet" home

We made it back to the States yesterday afternoon!  On one hand, we were so excited to set foot on American soil again...after 24+ hours of travel.  What a rude awakening though to go from 80+ degree temps in Uganda to under 50 in LA! :)

Riley was really sad to leave Uganda and in the airport told us she didn't want to go home.  We asked if she wanted to see her dog and her friends, toys, etc.  She said "no, they can come here!"  Guess she's just like her momma....she left a piece of her heart in Africa too.

There's still a lot of blogging to do about our last few days in Uganda.  I plan to do that over the next few days so stay tuned.  Just wanted you to know that were back...safe & sound.

Love, T

Final hours....

I can't believe it's our last night in Kampala.  It's 12:30am and in exactly 24 hours we'll be boarding our flight to London.  I had such mixed feelings as I packed our bags tonight.  Part of me is excited to get back to familiarity and the other part of me would like to stay here forever!  There's something so special about this Country.  I feel at peace, and at home here.  Somehow things seem clearer, God seems nearer, and I have renewed purpose & passion.  I just need more time....we're just getting started!

I wanted to express again how thankful we are for each of you!  We've felt your prayers and God has been so good to us here.  No one has gotten sick.  Not even a runny nose for Riley.  I was joking that spending weeks with little African kids left her in far better shape than 6 hours at preschool!! :)  We're felt incredibly safe during a potentially wild election time in Uganda.  And God blessed us with amazing, trustworthy people to drive us around this crazy city!! :)

I still have so much blogging still to do to and I decided to make that my airplane project.  So....you'll have plenty to read in the next few days:)

Good night everyone.
Love, Talitha & a sleeping Brett & Riley

You Are Welcome.....

One of my favorite things about Africa is the way you're greeted.  Every encounter begins with a "you are welcome or you are most welcome!"  When we arrived at God Cares Nursery & Primary school this morning, more than 600 students stood as we arrived at their class doors, clapped and greeted us with "you Ah (are) welcome to Owa (our) class dear Vistas (aka Visitors:)."  Melts my heart every single time.

Even more amazing is the number of children in each class.  Classes average 50+ students with only 1-2 teachers!  Take that LAUSD :)  We were shocked at how smart these kids were when we looked at what they were studying....pretty sure the 5th graders knew far more than me!  Riley immediately jumped into her little class.  She has been missing her school so much!  She said she had fun but you sure can't tell by this picture.  That poor kid next to her!

We later spent time with the kids on their break, attended chapel with all 600+ kids and then presented our Reality Check (Sexual Integrity program) to the 6th & 7th graders (we'll be at their high school on Thursday).  Here are a few of my favorite pics:

Just can't get over their smiles.  I was surprised by how many "lighter" skinned kids there were.  Pastor Dongo shared that most are refugees from Ethiopia and neighboring Countries.

 Riley finally found a playground in Africa!  She was in heaven.  It was also a nice break from being tortured by the kids:)  They were pretty aggressive in pulling her hair, touching her "Mzungu" skin, shoes, etc.  She couldn't quite understand why they wouldn't stop grabbing her.  Most of the time she was running away from 40+ kids at a time as they chased her.  She eventually planted herself on daddy's shoulders :)

 Improvising with the Reality Check Powerpoint presentation!

 Watching this boy worship just gave me chills.  What a doll!

Lunchtime!  Posho (Maize flour, water, salt) & beans....pretty much what they eat at every school we've been to!

 Trying to warm up to them here.  Check out that giant bite on her face:(

 Thanks to those who donated school supplies!!

And toothbrushes/toothpaste, etc.

It was wonderful to see how much God has blessed this school since I first met Pastor Dongo four years ago.  They now have close to 200 orphans living at the school (30+ kids share one room) and over 800 kids signed up for the elementary school.  Can't wait to see the new high school on Thursday!

This only covers the first 3 hours of our day today!  Tonight was actually one of my favorite memories on this trip.  However, it took almost 3 hours to load the pics for this blog and it's close to 2am now.  I'll share the rest tomorrow!

Much love to you all,
Talitha, (Brett & Riley too!)

The Big Picture

Only five days left in Uganda!  That was my first thought this morning after another sleepless night.  However, I wasn't thinking about it because I'm longing for my own bed (although that does sound nice right now:)  I was feeling overwhelmed by how much I want to/hope to/pray to accomplish in these last five days.  My focus shifted from the "one life at a time" perspective to the overwhelming need in so many different areas and my own (& the rest of the teams) ever-present limitations.  Never a good thing!

I arrived at Wakisa Ministries (a home for young, mostly abandoned pregnant girls that I've visited on my last two trips to Uganda) a few hours later feeling overwhelmed and quite inadequate.  Not to mention, I had no idea what they were expecting of us today.  We were immediately welcomed by an incredible staff team and more than thirty young girls who'd been sitting under a tent, waiting for our arrival.

The Director, Vivian, gave us a tour of the home and I was amazed at how much they've grown in the past four years.  They've almost doubled in size and programs and I was so excited to hear about their vision to expand further to include transitional housing (right now the girls can only stay at the home for the first two weeks after their babies are born).  On our little tour we met one of the newest moms and her one week old baby, Moses:

We also saw where the girls sleep-- There are bunks for 30 pregnant girls in one room and then four beds in another room for those who have delivered their babies.  The babies sleep in the twin bed with them.

Vivian explained that a donor recently gave her 100 chickens.  We all laughed when she opened the door to where the chickens are housed, and said "now what am I supposed to do with these?"

 This is the "cooking kitchen."

And.....where they wash their clothes.  They used to wash in buckets on the floor until a volunteer group from Australia built this so the pregnant girls wouldn't have to bend all the way down to the floor!

Toward the end of the tour we met a young mommy who gave birth yesterday!  I was reminded of the birthing conditions in the hospitals here.  You labor alone (no medical staff present) in a room, usually with several other laboring women.  When it's time to push you get on the table (other women still laboring on the floor around you), a doctor delivers, and within a few hours you're home again!  This girl was walking around the house, doing chores, etc. 24 hours after giving birth!!  She showed us her baby girl and when we asked what her name was she said, "she doesn't have one yet.  You name her!"  That's the second time that's happened to us:)  So, today we named little Rebecca after Becki.
Here she is:

After our tour, they asked us to lead worship (well, the girls with the pretty voices:) Riley and I mumbled along!:)  Such a sweet time seeing them praise the Lord in the midst of their pain & absolute language barrier.  I then shared a message about brokenness.  Was able to share the story of Tamar and then a bit of my own story.  It was so hard to look into their eyes as I shared Tamar's story and to see how many resonated with the feelings of sexual abuse & abandonment.  We broke into groups after the message so each team member could spend time connecting with the girls.  I heard intense conversation in some groups as girls shared their stories and giggles from another.  We had given yarn to the girls and within a few minutes Kerri gave a knitting lesson!  What an incredible way to engage some of the quieter girls:)

Brett had a blast getting to know some of the girls as well and he convinced one of them to name her baby Brett.  Still not sure if it's after him or Puppy Brett:-)

The girls were all obsessed with Puppy Brett and with Riley.  Poor kid.  They love to grab her, try to pick her up, and to steal her puppy.  The crazy thing is I think they just wanted to hold the stuffed animal.  They were intrigued with her love for this "puppy" and they just wanted to hold it...and this strange blond child!

There were definitely moments where you could tell just how young these girls are....they're just kids!  Some were as young as 13...two got pregnant at 11.

I was assigned to a group of girls who didn't speak English and within about 10 minutes the interpreter told me that the girls wanted to meet with me individually/privately for a "counseling session."  All those earlier feelings of inadequacy rose to the surface again.  I spent years counseling at our clinic and yet I was terrified of these precious girls stories!  What could I possibly have to offer?  What would they share with me?
Before I could say anything a counseling room was ready and I was amazed that as soon as the door closed, each "seemingly quiet" girl began to pour out her heart.  I don't think anything could have ever prepared me for what they would share.  The stories included incidents of being raped in fields while gathering firewood and some even raped by their Priest; some sold for sex by family members, tortured by moms, step moms & dads, murders of family members, and the list goes on and on.
I was flooded with emotion, fighting back tears with each story.  There were moments that I just wanted to break down and cry with them...and others where I wanted to fix their problems!  They were crying out to be rescued and I wanted to do just that!  The heart wrenching thing is that every one of them just wanted desperately to find some kind of closure.  For some it was justification or acknowledgment of family members that they were wronged.  For others, it was being accepted (or allowed to return home) after they give birth.  Most were rejected by their families when they found out they were pregnant.  All voiced that they wanted their babies to have a better life and I found it so fascinating that they saw the baby as something beautiful, not a reminder of something evil that had happened to them (as so many Americans would claim!).  They wanted to be told that they were beautiful.  They wanted to be loved.  And every single one of them wanted to go to school....knowing that the only way they'll ever have a better life is if they have an education.  One girl was 18 years old and hasn't finished the 4th Grade.

My heart broke over & over.  I started calculating how much it would cost for me to send each one to school and  I wished I had the money to do just that.  But then, God so gently reminded me that I'm looking at the big picture..with my human eyes.  He's looking at the heart.  I needed that counseling room to be reminded that I don't have the answers.  I don't have the money to fix every problem I encounter.  And, that would never be the answer anyway.  I can't adopt every baby, and I can't rescue their mommies.  What I can do is lead them to the one who sees their pain, who stores their tears in a bottle, and who understands what it's like to be beaten, rejected, persecuted and abandoned.  It was one of the most humbling moments of my life.  I realized how we are blessed materially in the States but spiritually we are so dead.  While we so often reject God, and ignore His presence, these women understand the bible in ways that so many of us never will.  They understand the God cared so much about our suffering that He became it, He embraced it and He rose from the dead for it.

I couldn't even tell you what I said in that counseling room.  Most of the time I stared intently, blinking back tears, as they stared at me looking for emotion, validation & support.  I pray that God uses whatever simple words I managed to get out, my prayers & hugs.  I pray that a team of trained specialists would feel called to help.  Those who know how to work with traumatized women.  I pray that God provides miraculously for each life represented.  I pray that as I we go back to Wakisa on Wednesday, that we'll again be able to touch them in some small way.  But mostly, I pray that we will NEVER forget their faces, stories and that God will continue to break our hearts.

Powerless

Sitting in our Gulu living room, absolutely powerless.  I mean that in every sense of the word.  The power has been out all day....not a big deal until it gets dark:)  We have a few candles burning and the brave took cold showers tonight!  However, the bigger meaning of the word tonight is that we are sitting here feeling absolutely powerless.  Nothing could have prepared us for what we witnessed today.  The day started of with excitement as we headed to the market to buy things to "spoil" the village kids we've been spending time with.  We decided porridge for everyone, yogurt, bars of soap, lotion, nail polish, etc.  And Maria felt led to buy over 70+ pairs of shoes to make sure every kid had a pair.  We felt a bit like Santa shopping for goodies for all....couldn't wait to get to the village to start washing, feeding, etc.
One quick stop by the local hospital and we were on our way.  We ended up in the first ward and I can hardly describe what we witnessed.  Bed after bed, plastic mattresses, filled with mostly children.  Moms sitting next to them; some alone.  Some beds had older women (although they may have been 18 years old or younger...you can't really tell here.  Some of the young ones work so hard that they look so much older than they are).  We started by talking to & praying for a girl that was in an accident.  She had a leg injury.  Outside of her bedroom window was her mom, her baby, & a few other family members.  They hang out outside of the window, cooking for her, etc.  We quickly noticed that the yard was filled with family members doing the same.  There was a large sign that said "medical care is free-paid for by the government."  What that means is you get a free bed, and a nurse who will come by periodically.  However, that doesn't include sheets, or food, or medication.  Basically, just someone to watch over you while you die.  We realized we were on the surgical floor and saw a few residents who where checking a leg wound and talking over a patient.  We saw one IV hanging from one patient.  One young mommy had her breast wrapped; another had a leg splint (looked like nails drilled into a persons leg).  Before I knew it one of the mommies grabbed me to pray for her baby.  When she lifted up the mosquito net I realized it was a 1 year old little boy burned from his head down.  All I can say is that he was lying under a net, flesh completely exposed.  No bandages!!  I looked to my left and there was an entire row of burned babies.  Each mom lifted up covers & nets for me to see their often screaming-in-pain babies. The smell was almost too much to handle but the sight was absolutely devastating.  These babies with open flesh wounds are lying on dirty sheets and the doctors are expecting mosquito nets to protect them!  There were hundreds of flies trying to attack their tiny bodies!
I couldn't stop crying as I was holding my healthy little girl.  Riley was so confused and started crying and asking me what happened to the kids.  I tried to explain that they were burned and the moms shared that some had hot water fall on them, others homes burned and some had candle burns.  One little girl is epileptic and during a seizure she hit something & caught on fire.  Her entire face & shoulder were burned....almost beyond recognition.  I looked around and saw so many of our team members just losing it.  And then one started singing Amazing Grace.  It was all we could do in that moment.  Sing & sob.  It was so hard to control sobs when we learned that these kids can't even get pain medication!  Before I knew it Brett & our driver headed to the pharmacy.  The hospital doesn't even keeps meds on-site!  Brett returned with several days worth of burn cream with some pain medication but I couldn't help but think of every doctor I know...and how our hospitals are filled with drugs and so many other things that could stop the babies from crying and most likely save their lives.  Becki said one of the moms grabbed her arm and said "it will be okay."  She had the courage to tell our team that it would be ok while her baby was dying!  The next ward wasn't much easier.  A boy dying of sickle cell anemia, babies with malaria, hydrocephaly, stomach problems....Each mom wanted us to pray for their baby or child.  Some seemed more hopeful than others.  I wish I had taken pictures so there was something visual to my description and yet I just couldn't bring myself to take out my camera.  It was almost too horrifying to capture.  I kept thinking about how near the Lord is to the helpless & hopeless.  The boy with sickle cell anemia had his mom, dad & sister at his feet.  What a beautiful picture of unconditional love as they shared that they'd been in and out of the hospital for 5 years.  They were so proud of him and he tried his absolute hardest to smile at me.  I rubbed the back of one precious little one that was so sick.  I kept thinking of how precious he is to the Lord.  Not one of those patients isn't noticed by our God.  They may have a very visible need for healing, for His touch.  But we have the same longing in our hearts.  We are all in need of a Savior!  I felt honored to hold their hands and powerless to "fix" the problem.  I'd love to convince the administration of St. John's Hospital, Cedar's Sinai or some major drug company to invest in these lives....but I'm afraid they'll never truly understand the need.  And I  know there are other hospitals with as much need.  Tonight, I go to sleep wishing I could hold each one and know that our loving God is holding them in the palm of His hand.  May they know His arms are wrapped around them tonight.  Father, we cry out for a miracle on their behalf!

Our next stop was Mercy's Village, where we set up to "pamper" the village kids.  It was one of the most humbling experiences.  We set up stations (feet washing, drying, lotion, nail polish, new shoes).  Before we were even set up, there were at least 75 kids in line.  We let them in a few at a time and when they saw the buckets of water some started instantly taking baths!  They scrubbed with the biggest smiles on their faces.  I was stationed to help wash feet and ended up drying & putting lotion on (most were so confused by the lotion:)  It was precious.  I thought about the symbolism in scripture of washing feet.  The human side of me did have moments of thinking about the disease many carry in their feet, sores, etc. But every time my mind went there, I thought about what it would be like to have someone not be afraid to touch you.  You can tell that these kids are not hugged much (if ever) and were shocked that a white person could lean down and wash their feet.  I'm pretty sure I was the one far more touched than they were though.  Their smiles will be burned in my mind forever.  As we finished, I looked into the field and saw Riley playing with a group of kids.  Other than the hair & skin, she looked like she belonged.  She was such a great helper today and mostly just loved playing with the kids.  I'm so happy she's here witnessing this.  I pray God continues to move on each of our hearts.  My heart is so full tonight- praying for the lives we held, the lives in such great need, the lives that need to know they matter- Lord continue to move in this city.  We pray for RESTORATION...in every sense of the word.

 Praying at the hospital

 Riley gave this baby a paci and then helped him take a bath:)

 Brett holding the line at the door & a beautiful baby in his arm (who happened to pee on him:)

 Eventually Brett did some washing too :-)

This little girl on the left was wearing a torn dress (completely torn down the middle, hanging by a string at the bottom).  I was able to give her one of Riley's outfits.  If you gave us that shirt, just know it's on an amazing little girl in Gulu!

Gulu- Other Images

 Sticker time

 Finally figured this out...Now if I can only do it with my three year old!

 Having a blast posing for the camera!

 This was the beginning.  The shower floor was full of paint, dirt and who knows what else tonight:)

 Precious!

Brett working hard!

Gulu in pictures- Riley's day

 She handed out sillybands

 Danced with the school kids

 Sat at their desks

 Pumped water from a new well

 Painted a wall (portion thereof:)

And watched Bambi with her new friends

Gulu in Pictures

 Our team, heading to Gulu.  Yes, that's our luggage on top of the van :)

 Baboons on the side of the road.  That's one not-so-cute baby!

 Riley finally coming to terms with the fact that she has to eat rice!

 We decided to put Riley in her stroller when we first got to Gulu.  I can't begin to describe the looks we received.  Laughter, shock, horror.....not to mention that the roads aren't quite made for strolling:)  Ended up folding the stroller and carrying her in the heat...just like every African mommy!

Arrival at our first village in Gulu.  I can't believe how much the city has changed since I was last here and the war has ended.  This little boy had never seen a white kid and wasn't quite sure what to do.  Decided to pick his nose:)  By the end of the day, he was laughing!

A few photos from Rahab's house

          Riley with some of the girls

 With Annette (Executive Director) and a rescued girl from another local home

Brett with "his girls"